Monday, August 2, 2010

Bible Bob

Bible Bob was a nice Christian boy. His jeans were trendy and destroyed. He was rockin’ some hot Rainbows, a Gap striped hoodie, and a preppy Lacoste blue polo. (The collar was NOT popped, thank God) We went and had coffee at an authentic indie shop where we discussed world issues in correlation with the lack of compassion in today's society. His passion and compassion towards the homeless and less fortunate was inspiring. Hatred of complacency, and understanding the difference between respecting someone’s beliefs and believing that all beliefs are created equally were conversations that impressed me.

Our date continued as we walked to the surprise place we would be dining, which I thought was nice. I like stars. He pointed out a McDonalds surrounded by smelly homeless people and said “Well, here’s dinner!”

I felt my face pale and then redden because I know it revealed that I am a sort of food and date snob. Chuckling at his own joke, he looked at me and said “Don’t worry, keep walking. I’m not really taking you there.”

To my relief, we ended up eating at one of my favorite restaurants. Being a psychology nerd, I not only ate up my delicious meal, but also his opinion on metal illness and America’s treatment of the incompetent mixed with what Jesus would do with all of this.

Sounds ideal, right?

Then I noticed WE weren’t discussing crap. I was saying a murmur of something and he was going off on a tangent. Come to think of it, did he even ask me what I think of any of this? Because if you know me, you know I have opinions.

A true pastor at heart that most Christian girls would swoon after. Bible Bob is sweet. But I’m not the type of person who can hear sermons on life and social issues all the time. I need to do things. I need to talk. I may be shy at first, but I need someone to set my chatterbox free, and not want to destroy me after.

To be fair, I agreed to go out with Bible Bob again. Maybe nerves give him verbal diarrhea?

At least he has a grasp on reality, even if it does appear to be narcissistic. Delusional Devin we unfortunately just an ass and a retard. This means Bible Bob is at a +1.